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» I am eighteen years old. This diary is for my SECRET posts which NOBODY is supposed to see. It's my obsolete diary which I update in times of ANGST and weirdness. So please. Give me my privacy. 0=)

»loves: BORACAY! :D too many to mention. Books. Vacation. frisbee? high grades! music, clothes, family (sometimes) high school balls, travel, biking, clean air, history, old buildings

»hates: assholes, waiting, being broke, being ugly, being stupid, being mean, mayabang people, low grades, KABABUYAN, people who are full of themselves, desperation

»feeling:
lala

»reads: romance :D

oh it's such a shame for us to part
8:15 p.m. -- 2006-06-10

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME :( i want to stopppppppp just STOP IT. i miss YOU. i wish i could talk to you like before. why do you have to be so CONFUSING and PASSIVE one minute and then that same you that keeps me hoping the next? i mean, i wish you could be CONSISTENT, you know. so that i could make up my mind to leave or like you. correction, like you or unlike you. BASTA. because you can be the MOST FRUSTRATING person at times and i just want to kill you but other times i become this raving jealous madwoman when i hear or see or think that anyone else could be SOMETHING (or rather, someone) to you.

YES, THE OBSESSION IS SCARY. it just can't go on like this. i will end up exhausted and unstable and wallowing in my own self-created miserable HELL. (fuck redundancy and g.error.) why can't i just be NORMAL and .... i don't know. why can't i LIKE SOMEONE ELSE? this is so stupid. i'm not even making any sense. at all. :( i wish i could just drive you away forever but i would just DIE if you thought bad of me. i always want to make you happy. i always want to be on your good side. i want you to think me beautiful ;( i don't want anyone else to make you happy. grr. why can't i spend time with you without other people ruining everything for us? i mean, i can't even have a single decent conversation with you anymore. WHY THE FUCK IS THAT? i know it's not entirely my fault, you bastard. IT'S YOU. oh, hell.

I AM DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY.

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