new old website normalcy (my xanga) my deviantart reviews pictures guesttbook notes email layout host

» I am eighteen years old. This diary is for my SECRET posts which NOBODY is supposed to see. It's my obsolete diary which I update in times of ANGST and weirdness. So please. Give me my privacy. 0=)

»loves: BORACAY! :D too many to mention. Books. Vacation. frisbee? high grades! music, clothes, family (sometimes) high school balls, travel, biking, clean air, history, old buildings

»hates: assholes, waiting, being broke, being ugly, being stupid, being mean, mayabang people, low grades, KABABUYAN, people who are full of themselves, desperation

»feeling:
lala

»reads: romance :D

you and her
7:54 p.m. -- 2007-10-05

i'm confused, but i'm glad i'm not as confused as ******! haha. damn! you're really... pushing it haha! i used to be all like.. we're young and yeah we have a right to have fun but... i kind of feel like this is too much already. are you reading this, girl? haha. but i dunno. it's your life :) things will turn out okay, i guess. it always does with you naman :)

and as for me? i'm stupid! isoy estupida! i don't know what the heck i am doing ?? am i such a fucking amateur at this? i try to be natural but then it comes out as so unbalanced with the other things i do! my God. i should expose myself more. i should seriously take lessons. hahaha! i want more practice. WOO! hahahaha ;) i didn't mean it in THAT way, ha.

sdfjskldf;sdfjsdfo;!!!!!!! i swear. there are many things i wish we could do and i wish i could say and i wish you could say. sometimes i just want SOMETHING (more) to happen but other times i want NOTHING to happen. sometimes i want it serious other times i'm just really happy with the way things are and i don't want anything to change! i wish you would say something, just so i know what's happening over there. sure, the signals are pretty clear... but ... but... hahaha! dammit. i don't know. it's not really something spoken and if you knew me well i like talking about it (or maybe i don't want us to say anything that might doom the future because we violated whatever we may have said or promised) (i don't know!)

but you know what... i'm looking forward to this :) the other day i was talking about how you're discriminative with your taste in... friends. **** was talking about how you're too selective and you only want them from a particular background and a particular crowd... i was all agreeing with her and then i realized that i'm kind of like that, too. there are reasons behind our preference, i guess. and i don't want anything to happen because of a twisted sense of deserving but... yeah. i have to be honest and say that i like what you have to offer. and i feel like you can give what i deserve. and i give you what you need and be what you want (!!) ooh. shit. that sounded terrible and uppity, and so anti-ideal. i'm sorry, ****!! :( am i an elitist?? no no no! haha. i get along well enough with the girls over here. :) i love you (vosotros).

previous / posts / next